Stress Isn’t the Problem. It’s the Signal
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How to stop spiralling and start simplifying before it breaks you
Bubble baths and scented candles are great.
But if that’s all you’ve got for dealing with stress, you’re screwed.
Let’s stop pretending stress is the enemy.
It’s not. It’s a message.
It’s your brain’s way of saying:
"Mate, you’re carrying too much, and you’re about to drop it."
And most people?
They ignore it, push through, and wait until their body shuts down or their relationships explode.
You don’t need to wait for burnout to do something about it.
You need tools. Real ones.
Tools that don’t fall apart the second life gets messy.
Tools that help you function when everything’s on fire and you’re the one expected to stay calm.
I’ve spent over 20 years in crime scene work.
Stress isn’t occasional. It’s daily.
The job doesn’t care if you slept last night or if your head’s in bits.
You show up. You process scenes. You stay sharp when everything around you is chaos.
And you know what I learned?
Managing stress isn’t about removing pressure.
It’s about responding to it better.
That starts with two things: the ABC Method and the Fuck It List.
Let’s get into it.
The ABC Method: Triage for a Brain in Overload
Picture this. It’s 7am.
You’re already behind.
Your mind’s rattling off the million things you didn’t do yesterday, plus the ten that just landed on your plate.
Welcome to the daily mental panic spiral.
Here’s how to break it.
Grab a pen. Split your tasks into three categories:
- A Tasks — Urgent. Non-negotiable. These are today’s fires.
- B Tasks — Important but not burning. Can wait.
- C Tasks — Nice to do. Can be dumped, delayed, or delegated.
Most people waste hours bouncing between B and C tasks because they feel productive.
But then 4pm hits, and none of the important stuff’s done.
That’s when panic and guilt creep in.
Start your day with the A’s.
One at a time. No bouncing. No multitasking.
When they’re done, then move to the B’s if you’ve got capacity.
It’s simple, brutal, and effective.
Your brain can’t carry 100 tabs open.
You need to prioritise or you’ll drown.
The Fuck It List: The Ultimate Stress Filter
Some things need doing.
Others? You’re doing them out of guilt, pressure, or habit.
Enter: the Fuck It List.
It’s exactly what it sounds like. A written list of everything you’re not wasting energy on anymore.
It’s the meetings that should be emails.
The social invites that make your stomach sink.
The people-pleasing. The extra favours. The daily doom scrolling.
Write it all down.
Then cross it out of your mental load.
You’re not lazy.
You’re overloaded.
And the only way to get some sanity back is to cut the dead weight.
This list is your permission slip to say no without guilt.
To stop trying to be everything to everyone.
To protect your time like it matters. Because it does.
The more you say no to what drains you, the more space you have for what matters.
And that’s how you build real resilience.
Not by piling on more.
By stripping it back.
Why These Two Tools Work When You’re Under Pressure
You don’t need a motivational quote.
You need a structure your brain can rely on when it’s stressed.
Both the ABC Method and the Fuck It List give you clarity fast.
They remove the noise.
They stop you reacting from panic.
They help you respond with control, not chaos.
And they’re sustainable.
You can use them whether you’re having a meltdown or just trying to stay one step ahead of the next one.
This isn’t some fluffy life hack.
This is what keeps you from cracking under pressure.
Because when you’re dealing with trauma, high-stress work, or relentless life load, your coping tools need to be tougher than your triggers.
You’re Not Broken. You’re Drowning.
Let’s stop mislabelling this.
You’re not failing.
You’re over-functioning on empty.
And the world keeps asking you to do more with less.
Less support. Less sleep. Less time to think.
But you have more power than you think.
The moment you bring structure to your stress is the moment it stops owning you.
You can’t control everything.
But you can control your inputs, your choices, and your energy.
And that’s where your strength is.
Ready to Rebuild?
If this hit home, it’s probably because you’ve been trying to do it all on your own without a system that actually helps.
That’s exactly why I wrote Thrive in Chaos.
It’s not about being unbreakable.
It’s about learning how to rebuild fast with tools that hold up under pressure.
If you haven’t already:
🔥 Grab the free 30-page preview of Thrive in Chaos
No email fluff. No hype. Just the stuff that works.
And while you’re at it:
⚡ Get my 3-Day Resilience Reset course
🧰 Download the Resilience Rapid Response Kit — 16 printable tools built to help you stabilise, focus, and take back control.
It’s all free.
It’s all designed for people like you — the ones holding the line when life gets loud.