How to Show Up on the Days You Want to Disappear

Some days you wake up and want to vanish.

You don’t want to answer messages. You don’t want to perform, engage, lead, smile, or try. You just want to lie in silence, unseen.

And that doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.

But if you disappear every time you feel like this — emotionally, physically, socially — you start teaching yourself something dangerous:

“I can only show up when I feel good.”

That belief will wreck your resilience.

Not Every Day Demands 100%

You don’t need to give it your all today. You just need to give it something.

One message answered. One task ticked off. One small win that reminds you you’re still here.

This is where the THRIVE pillar of Tenacity kicks in. Tenacity isn’t force. It’s repeatable action, even when the fire’s gone.

Showing up when it’s easy? That’s not resilience. Showing up when you’ve got nothing left? That’s where you build your edge.

Redefine What “Showing Up” Looks Like

We’ve romanticised hustle. We’ve made consistency look like a full tank of motivation.

But real consistency looks like this:

• Setting your phone to Do Not Disturb but sending the one message that matters

• Dragging yourself to the gym and stretching for 10 minutes instead of skipping the week

• Speaking the truth instead of performing

Showing up is flexible. What matters is that you don’t vanish.

Because once you disappear, shame kicks in. Shame grows fast in silence. And it gets harder to come back the longer you’re gone.

Stop Treating Exhaustion Like Failure

Being tired doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Feeling flat doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you.

But when you stack your day with no space to breathe, no recovery, no reward — you train your brain to associate action with pain. No wonder you shut down.

This is where Positive Selfishness comes in.

If you’re not building in recovery, you’re building in collapse.

Take the break. Drink the water. Say no to the extra thing.

That’s not weakness. That’s how you stay standing.

Build Your “Show Up Anyway” List

Create a list of low-energy actions you can take on your worst days:

• Drink a glass of water and sit in the sun for 3 minutes

• Text one person honestly: “I’m here, just flat today”

• Read one page of a book that grounds you

• Go for a 5-minute walk with no podcast, no phone

• Do one load of washing or make your bed — just one

These are not solutions. They’re signals. They say: “I’m still here.”

That’s how you break the cycle of disappearing.

Show Up for You First

If you’ve been showing up for everyone else while letting yourself fall apart, let me be clear:

That’s not resilience. That’s martyrdom.

Resilience without self-respect collapses.

So on the days you’re drained:

• Don’t perform.

• Don’t overgive.

• Don’t pretend.

Show up as you are — rough edges and all. But make sure you’re showing up for you first.

The Book Was Built for These Days

Thrive in Chaos isn’t about motivation. It’s not a cheerleader. It’s a toolkit.

It’s for the days you want to hide. It’s for the mornings when nothing feels worth it. It’s for building systems that hold you together, even when your mind wants to check out.

✅ Read the free 30-day preview  of Thrive in Chaos
✅ Grab the full book if you’re ready to build that system
✅ Start the 3-Day Resilience Reset  and get your emotional anchors back
✅ Download the Resilience Rapid Response Kit to deal with pressure fast

Don’t do it alone. But don’t disappear either.

Final Word

You don’t need to be a hero today. You just need to be present.

Not perfect. Present.

Show up — for five minutes, one task, one breath. That’s resilience in motion.

And that’s how you stop disappearing for good.