How to Rebuild When You’ve Hit Rock Bottom

How to Rebuild When You’ve Hit Rock Bottom

There’s a moment no one really talks about.

Not the breakdown. Not the rock bottom.

But the day after.

When the storm has passed, the damage is done, and you’re left sitting in the silence, wondering what the hell you’re supposed to do now.

It doesn’t matter how you got there. Burnout. Grief. Shame. Exhaustion. A series of bad calls. Life pulled the rug, and you landed hard.

You’re not in free fall anymore. But you’re also not okay.

That’s the day we rebuild. And that’s what this post is for.

Step 1: Stop Looking for the Old You

The old you is gone.

And that’s not a tragedy. That’s a chance.

Because let’s be honest — if the old you had it all figured out, you wouldn’t have hit the wall in the first place.

Rebuilding starts with acceptance. Not weakness. Not surrender. Just honest recognition: things are different now.

Stop wasting energy trying to return to a version of yourself that couldn’t survive what you’ve just been through.

Build someone new. Stronger. Clearer. Honest.

Step 2: Cut the Shame

Shame is heavy. Pointless. And worst of all, it’s paralysing.

It tricks you into thinking the past defines you. It whispers that you should’ve handled things better. It tells you to stay small, stay quiet, stay stuck.

Screw that.

You hit the bottom. So what? You’re human. You cracked under pressure, made mistakes, lost your way. Welcome to the club.

I remember one time I completely shut down mid-investigation. A death scene that should’ve been routine left me rattled for days. Not because of the evidence, but because I was completely burned out and emotionally flatlined. I carried guilt about that for weeks. But guilt didn't rebuild me. Systems did. Rest did. Honesty did.

Cut the shame. It has nothing left to teach you.

You don’t need guilt. You need momentum.

Step 3: Rebuild Small

Don’t try to fix your whole life in a week.

Big leaps feel good in theory but rarely last. The people who rebuild strongest don’t start with grand plans. They start with basics:

  • Wake up at the same time each day.

  • Eat something that didn’t come in a packet.

  • Move your body for 10 minutes.

  • Get outside.

  • Say no to one thing that drains you.

That’s it.

It might not feel like much, but it’s everything.

Structure rebuilds trust. And right now, your brain and body need to know you’re someone they can count on again.

Step 4: Use the THRIVE Pillars

When I hit my own version of rock bottom, I rebuilt using six pillars. Not theories. Not platitudes. Principles that work.

  • Tenacity: Showing up, even when it felt pointless.

  • Honesty: Naming what was actually going on in my head.

  • Resolve: Refusing to drift. Refusing to give up.

  • Integrity: Living aligned with what mattered. No pretending.

  • Values: Reconnecting with what grounded me.

  • Emotions: Learning to feel them without letting them run the show.

You don’t need to master them all at once. But when you’re lost, these are anchors. Use them.

Even now, years on, I come back to these when things start to slide. When I feel that old edge creeping in — the tight chest, the rush, the pressure to say yes when I want to scream no — I pause and ask myself: Am I living by my values? Am I being honest? That check-in saves me time and again.

Step 5: Don’t Wait to Feel Ready

You won’t.

Waiting to feel confident, energised, or inspired before you act is a trap. You’re not going to feel your way out of rock bottom. You’re going to act your way out.

Tiny steps. Low standards. Daily proof that you’re back in charge.

You don’t need a breakthrough. You need a bloody checklist.

This Is Why Thrive in Chaos Exists

I wrote it for moments like this.

For people standing in the rubble, who don’t want a motivational quote. They want a process.

The book’s out now. And it’s not just a read — it’s a toolkit.

If you’re climbing your way out of rock bottom, here’s where to start:

Your Next Steps

You’re not broken. You don’t need fixing.

You just need structure. Direction. And a bit of grit.

You’ve got this.

Let’s rebuild.

Back to blog